:)
its much bout me. REALLY

Name: N. Nabilla Sneeze/ julee
DOB: 22nd March 88 Star Sign: Aries ;)

&THEN?

dreamy. blur. hard-headed.
spontaneous (LETS GO!! NOW!!).
enthusiastic that im always excited!!
er. hot tempered & impatient
Hopeless romantic :p
Full of fucking profanities


ANYONE WANNA ADD ON??

ALSO....

Mummy to a 4 year old Girl.
Lil Gal: Nuryna Aqilah/ Nana
DOB: 28th July 05 Star Sign: Leo


Mummy's Mini Me.
very much of a toddler
tantrums & curiosity
there's a whole new meaning to life after being a parent
the joy at her every smile, every laughter
pride at her every small or big achievement
always always my baby girl


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read me at 2:37 AM

If I am a novel at the moment...

I am a thriller full of murders and death.

*evil laughter*

But the slow death kinds.....

Pencil-stabbing, hair pulling, watching someone eat with their mouth open in deep conversation about something political, waiting in line at the ladies when you really, REALLY need to go kinds of slow murder.



So.

New Year Resolutions? Any?
Stop smoking, no Iuts, no more Its so Complicated that the word complicated is not well-defined enough Relationship, get better paying job and Love myself more..

..wrote Bridget Jones in her 75th diary on the eve of yet another New Year, singing to ALL BY MYSELLLFFFF with a bottle of wine and a cigarette in one hand....


AND HEAR YE HEAR YE!
Quote from Bridget Jones'New Year Resolution:

..will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things...

Labels: random

last, bye. at 6:09 PM

Was it because of looking back in 2009 that I snapped?

Having the same question lingering on my mind for almost 3 years?

It was fun when it started. It was what I needed.

Something that didn't go anywhere..



For the past year, I have been reeling in and out of it. Whatever it was.
There was nothing wrong with it, I recall how he has been there, always have been there somehow...
The fights I had with Burn, he knew, when I broke down, when I had to look for jobs, when I lost jobs, when I was being an asshole...


SO MANY things that I can't even list them down.

My friends got bored with it all.
I was stubborn.
I hold on to the hope that one day.. one fine day he would tell me he feels the same way too. After all the things we've been through.

I turn a deaf ear to all of them. What we have gone through ONLY THE BOTH OF US KNOW. My friends only hear my side of the story. Whatever was his side of the story, remain untold.


Where do I see myself in say, 10 years?

The vision that I have is only me and my little girl. I don't believe in marriage, not anymore. Though I do want someone to grow old with, at the moment, marriage is not on my mind. So why do I have to care and put all my energy into a relationship that has no...


In a relationship that has no future....



It may be just a status thing. But in that status thing there are some assurance that there is something stable.


So I have to do this.

Not because I am heavily influenced by my friends. Not because I am seeking to some shitty freedom of being "OH-SO-FUCKING-SINGLE".

Because I need to tell myself, I can and so I will.

My friends know, somehow I would go back running to comfort; him.

The thought of this all is already making me so fucking weak.


Ima gonna pretend its fine for awhile even when it is tearing me inside.


And please, come back only when you really mean it.
Otherwise, leave me alone while I go pick the broken pieces of myself all over Singapore. Is there even one place I have not been with you? Is there even one place I won't get reminded of you? Even if there is, it would be crazy for me to start hanging around there, kan?


EARGH and going through the private xanga wasn't a good idea........

This is going to be hard... ILLAA!!

Labels: random, You

2009 in point form at 7:42 PM

The year is almost over.

Instead of the normal New Year Resolutions that I have never stick to, I will do a summary of each month in 2009. To look back and reflect, I suppose.

There are some disappointments but 2009 has been better.

To do this summary, I have to go back to xanga and see what I have been up to because I really couldn't recall. HAHA. Here we go!!

- Ushered in the New Year with Nana and Sister. And that is the last time I am going to bring her. Well, until she grew bit older, taller and learn to elbow the crowds.

- My little girl starts NURSERY! EXCITED, ANXIOUS AND EVERYTHING ELSE!!
Another phase in Motherhood!!

- the matters of the heart still made me confused. Made me weak but egoistic. But I still stayed on.

- OH! And remember the nude couple who strode down at Holland V??



- The Girls came back! WOO! HAHA.


- The Peranakan Museum with Shaz!! :D Because we were the Little Nyonya!!


- VALENTINE-SCHMALENTINE! Still single and hating every flowers and every chocolate boxes the girls are getting. lucky bitches.

- Quote for February from the book, A concise Chinese-English Dictionary for lovers by Xiaolu Guo..

Love', this English word: like other English words it has tense. 'Loved' or 'will love' or 'have loved'. All these specific tenses mean Love is time-limited thing. Not infinite. It only exist in particular period of time. In Chinese, Love is ai. It has no tense. No past and future. Love in Chiese means a being, a situation, a circumstance. Love is existence, holding past and future.
If our love existed in Chinese tense, then it will last for ever. It will be infinite.

-Late Feb, Nuryna was admitted to the hospital because she had pneumonia. FOR FOUR DAYS. I stayed over with her with only one change of t-shirt and almost drove myself crazy with nothing to do. I bought Nuryna up and down in the wheelchair. And almost every few hours, I fell asleep on the chair.
On the last night, parents came over to take care of her instead and I finally got a good night sleep at home. Thanks for the guests who came and visited us!!


-THE MONTH OF MEEE!
- Wanted to watch KUMAR! but didnt get to! boo! still gonna pester Lily AND Iris into bringing me to Hard Rock!
- The impromptu meet-ups with Lily and Wanie. HAHAHA. Gerek doh!

-The best thing that happen in 2009

was my FIRST EVER SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY!
FOR MY 21st BIRTHDAY!! :D

I will never forget it lor!
The blog entry of the party is here..

Thanks to Wanie who planned it all! Thanks the cousins to make it merry. And thanks to Fadli for tricking me! :p Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes and gift!

-A lunch treat for all of us at work because it was MY BIRTHDAY! hahaa. ok well all the March Babies Birthday. But I kept on talking how it was MY MONTH and eventually they thought why not have a lunch gathering for the team! :D
- Dinner trip of BBQ CRAB from family at JB!!!

-My best friend and so-called "God-Father" for Nuryna, Sun, got married..
Awkward wedding where the ex-husband bought along HIS girlfriend and Nuryna left me and went with them.
And there on the pelamin, the bride didnt really fancy me because I was very close with Sun. Sun was my neighbour and turned to a best friend and father figure after the separation. I was very sad to see him married.. :( and i miss him. Though me and the wife are "friends" now..



-I can't really remember but I suppose I got into another squabble/disagreement/dissatisfaction/quarrel/ semua yang sewaktu dengan nya with this little pig, I called Silly.


-Got the worst eye-sore ever. and after that incident, I decide to wear less lenses and wear back my specs.

- didnt know what happen for the rest of april. alot of emo entries. and somehow i got hooked on twitter.


- the start of the fainting spells and blacking out in trains. BAH!
-HMM. May was a nice month.
>supperclub
>punggol
>alot else which i didnt blog about.


-dates, dates and more dates. I loved every moment spent with Silly. =]
-dyed my hair black and finally wore specs. and yes, haven't visit a salon for awhile and decide to keep hair longer.

- perhaps this was where the friendship starts to crumble......

-parents bought Nuryna to Jakarta and I had a few days on my own!

-ORD LOR!!!

-H1N1! Overtime at work!

-Michael Jackson died and I found out through Twitter. HAHA.




-WHOA. more dates.
-Little Girl got into a "fight" in school and I broke down and beat myself up for not being there for her. BECAUSE mother told me that.

-Sleep Study for little Girl!

-Nuryna turned FOUR! And she had her party in school!!

- CLASS THREE SEI!! (was it in JUNE ke July??)



-moved to BLOGSPOT! HAHAHA.
-we celebrated National Day at home with a webcam with Shazila! HAHAAHA! WAS FUN OKAY!

-
A picnic, a supper and a whirlwind cup of cable extension for OMNIA!
Kiwek.. If I was a girlfriend, I would be a good one siak. *pats back HAHAHAHA.
-PUASA. but didnt make it full. HEHH

-same questions lingered in my head, "What are 'we'?"




-Break Fast Out more than I actually fast! HEH!!

-RAYA!!
maha beraya lor! ALOT OF PICTURES!
been awhile since we got to go visiting as a family! <3>